Clearing my cluttered brain…
So you pretty much know the story with R..he’s someone I met like 5 years ago when I first graduated from college. He came up to my friend after I disappeared heading back to work and asked her to pass his number on to me when she saw me again. She called me at work, told and I called him. We met up outside my building and the rest is history lol.
He’s cool that’s my homie, I love him to death but lately things have been getting on my nerves. I know you can’t rush a relationship but my thing is boo if you dont know by now if I’m the type of person that you want to be with then why are you getting mad at me for hanging out with folks…you arent my man. Yea you may act like it and we might hang out alot but you aren’t him. Sad to say that titles change things but that’s the reality of it all.
So we’ve been having convos lately about what’s going on and he’s telling me that sometimes I dont make him feel comfortable enough cause he doesnt know what I’m doing and sometimes hwat I do doesn’t look right…for example Young One and I went out to dinner on friday. Now Young one has a girl and two kids, we are NOT trying to get together….we just like hanging out and talking about life. He’s doing something with himself and I like to surround myself with folks like that. It shows cause R was saying I dont have a physical type..which is true if you’re cute in your own way then you can get my number now what will keep me talking to you is what you’re about…he doesn’t get that but oh well. So anyway he was all upset cause he was like Sunshine how does that look to you, you going out to dinner and watchin a movie with him aint that couple shit…I’m like boo if that’s the case I’ve done couple shit with lots of folks that dont mean they gettin in my pants..WOW. I said he’s my friend and that’s it….he didnt spend the night or anything like that…WOW. Talking about I’m trying to feel comfortable enough to be this way with you but you’re not concerned about how things look…I’m like why should I be concerned with how things look to you, you’re not my man.
I told him I was tired of chasing this long list of crap he wants or thinks he needs me to do in order to be with him…I am not superwoman. On top of that he keeps saying its so easy for someone to take you away from me…I’m thinkin maybe cause you aint doing your job or making me feel secure which is why I continue to date other folks. What’s the point in dating someone if they dont ever see it moving forward..I dont see the point, I’m not in high school anymore…
he makes my head hurt lol
Baby girl, you have to do you. I’m glad you are doing what you are doing. Any man who doesn’t see the complete package you’re bringing to the table in all this time is blind as a bat. If a man wants you, he will let you know.
Life is short, and its either you put up or shut up. He’s taking too long to make a decision. If he’s complaining then he should just man up and make himself your man then there would be no reason to complain and there would be no need for you to date others. I don’t think its that crystal clear to him though, sometimes you have to spell it out for them to see.. cause its either he just wants you to himself to be selfish or he’s just too scared to make the definite move and is waiting on you since you know that he isn’t comfortable with you dating others.
Whatever you decide do what makes you happy.. cause honey it is always about your happiness before others
I agree with the others. Sometims we get them too comfortable and they think they don’t have to put in any more work. Hopefully he realizes he needs to step up before you meet a man that will.
I think he’s scared to move to the next step with you because of all your male friends. You know that male ego is fragile. There is nothing we can do about that but just accept it for what it is. R needs to feel like HE is the man before he can take it to the next level with you.