Hmmm

You ever think someone is still hiding some information for you but you dont wanna press the issue….yea I’m trying to be detective too much but its in my blood I promise it is

Very busy at work…I’m actually looking forward to the summer

G and I are fine….I finally admitted yesterday to Reesie lol that we are together…feels strange. Not in a bad way but just weird ya know I always thought me and R would be

He’s not ready and he kept stringing me along..had to let him go. I love him dearly he’s still my friend but I needed to move out

Maybe in another atmosphere we would be right but not now

I pray that I dont treat G bad due to past experiences but I generally give him the side eye and he wonders why….boo I got to keep all my eyes open

Dont lie to me and expect me not to find out..cause I will lol

I hate thinking that I could ruin a good thing…ah well

Slacker…..

radio that is At work just finished eating a bagel…after I already downed a french toast bagel this morning. What can I say the auntie flo got me eating like Im eating for two however I dont over do it too much cause I do know that she goes away and I dont want the pds that she brought to stay with her LOL

Today is my friday…which means I’m outtta here snitches come 530 or 6 depending on the workload. Gonna head out for drinks or something later with Wayne who you know as G but I’ve started to call him Wayne since his dads name is G as well its just easier to call him Wayne all the time instead of remembering to call him that when we’re around the fam…who I LOVE. He has 3 brothers. 2 are younger and the one is older so he falls in the same place child wise as I do. But anywho I was over the fams house yesterday and his lil brother who is 12 loves my storm lol he’s always on it like D can I see your phone…i want one but I’m too young..you’re darn skippy homie. The other night me and Wayne were helpin him with his HW boy do I remember those days…..kinda miss em but they will be back soon I start school again in the summer lol so great. Should be done by December and on to bigger and better things.

Going to the 804 tomorrow to get my lil Toot…who is such the man now lol. When he spent the weekend at my house recently he goes auntie lay in my arms….and he rubs my head LOL. I love that lil dude. So after I pick him up I’m headed to the parents house for the rest of the weekend but before I chill I gotta take Wayne to the airport. He’s going to TX for a month. He says I wont miss him…I say of course I will…and I mean it lol. He’s slowly movin in on me..not like that lol no more movin in with said man until I get a ring LOL and I make sure he aint got no hidded issues…lesson learned I tell ya. Some folks can do it…I for one learned that I need more before I do that

Other than that…nothin much else goin on. Ready for the weather to get a lil nicer so I can wear my cute orange peep toe shoes, or the navy blue and pink open toe ones….I also saw these cute brown open toe ones at Charlotte Rouse that are a must get!!!! However I told Wayne that I would clean out my shoe closet first before I buy another pair….he laughed lol and so did I on the inside cause I know that might not happen.

On top of that so begins flip flop buying at OLD NAVY!!! WHOOOHOO sad but I can go in there and spend 30 dollars on flip flops cause you know they are two for 5 LOL. And the summer dresses ohh yea I gots to have one in every color..not from there but anywhere I can get one under $20. I need a yellow and an orange one. I have purple, black, green, blue and brown I need some brighter colors.

Thinking of going lighter for the summer as far as loc color but dont know gotta talk to my hair stylist dont want them bad boys to fall out

Have a great weekend…back to my slacker radio

P.S. why did I have a dream I was about to be eatin by zombies, then we ended up buying outfits and having a dance off but I woke up before I could find out who won…WOW talk about insanity!

TMI Questions

These help me clear my head

1. Don’t tell us what it is, but do you have a sexual secret you have never told anyone? Yes and if I told ya then it wouldn’t be a secret

2. Do you have a nonsexual secret you have never told anyone? Nah someone knows it so its not a secret.

3. Did you ever tell someone a secret only to have them spill it? What were the repercussions? Nope I have wonderful friends

4. Did you ever spill a secret someone told you? What were the repercussions? Yea she didn’t know I told I just found it bizarre what she told me, I had to tell someone lol

5. Tell us a secret someone told you, however along ago, that you’ve never told. (You can disguise name or details) I’ve told so I guess I can’t tell now lol

Thursday Mumbo Jumbo

At work ready to go home

So much stuff to do this weekend, chapter meeting sat morning, luncheon on sunday and between all that make sure the luncheon goes off well since I’m a chairperson…great

My Zetaversary is Sun woohooo 1 year ago I became a ZETA!!!!

Ummm if I dont return your IM”s and you left your number and I didn’t call dont you think that should tell you something especially if you keep asking for my new number and I have yet to give it to you

I dont know if I like Heather Headleys version of Running back to you I like commission better

I need to do my hair but I still have some curls from when I did this lil bantu thingy with the locs so I might wait till Sunday night matter fact I prob will wait till Sun night lol

You see I’m moving on now you wanna tell me you want a relationship…WOW are you kiddin me lol

I soo enjoyed our day in DC…..can’t wait to do it again

Sometimes I think I read too much into things…and I dont wanna mess up what could be a good thing if I do that

I try to stop but my poor brain just runs a mile a minute

I can’t wait for it to get nicer outside…my walk this weekend was wonderful

Sad when your fam says I briought you to church and not the other way around LOL

I need a vacation………where to go first LOL

TMI Tuesday

I will admit that I love doing these…just cause life can get so dang on tiring sometimes its nice to do something that doesn’t “mean” anything.

1. Are you pro-marriage? Why or why not? Yep I believe in marriage, for some people lol. I being one of them. I can’t wait to find the one that I’m meant for and create a life together producing wonderful big headed smart babies lol

2. Have you ever invented or thought you invented a sexual position? Nah but dont challenge me cause I’m always up for the challenge lol

3. Do you like to be tied up? Always or sometimes? Hmm sometimes depends

4. Do you consider online cybering adultery? Uhhhh lol does that include texting lol

5. Do you prefer masturbation over real sex? Heck no lol i needs the real thing

6. Do you want sex more times a day than your partner? I mean if we’re both off that day then fine but I think I’m good in that dept lol

7. Do you get offended when you partner openly flirts with others or are you okay with it? I think midly looking is fine but if you’re out and out falling over this person then there is a problem.

8. Do you think you’re flirty by nature? I’ve heard that I am but I am social and on top of that my friends know that I just dont talk to anyone

1. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that you were sure in advance you would hate (or never try) and then discovered to your surprise you loved? Doggystyle…I was like umm no why would I like that then what do you know I like it I just dont like to call it doggy style it annoys me

2. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that proved a lot less interesting in practice than you thought it would be beforehand? The side I guess if I had to pick one

3. How do you let your significant other know you’re in the mood? How do you let a new person in your life know? I let the SO know by doing things he likes, rubbing his hand, the back of his neck….I would hope the new person can pick up on signals…dont wanna have to stand in front of them naked for them to get the picture HAHA

4. How does your significant other let you know he/she is in the mood? He rubs my back and kisses my hands then moves in lol

5. Is there one that got away – a sexual opportunity you didn’t realise was one at the time, or weren’t ready for and regret missing ever since? Nah

Clearing my cluttered brain…

So you pretty much know the story with R..he’s someone I met like 5 years ago when I first graduated from college. He came up to my friend after I disappeared heading back to work and asked her to pass his number on to me when she saw me again. She called me at work, told and I called him. We met up outside my building and the rest is history lol.

He’s cool that’s my homie, I love him to death but lately things have been getting on my nerves. I know you can’t rush a relationship but my thing is boo if you dont know by now if I’m the type of person that you want to be with then why are you getting mad at me for hanging out with folks…you arent my man. Yea you may act like it and we might hang out alot but you aren’t him. Sad to say that titles change things but that’s the reality of it all.

So we’ve been having convos lately about what’s going on and he’s telling me that sometimes I dont make him feel comfortable enough cause he doesnt know what I’m doing and sometimes hwat I do doesn’t look right…for example Young One and I went out to dinner on friday. Now Young one has a girl and two kids, we are NOT trying to get together….we just like hanging out and talking about life. He’s doing something with himself and I like to surround myself with folks like that. It shows cause R was saying I dont have a physical type..which is true if you’re cute in your own way then you can get my number now what will keep me talking to you is what you’re about…he doesn’t get that but oh well. So anyway he was all upset cause he was like Sunshine how does that look to you, you going out to dinner and watchin a movie with him aint that couple shit…I’m like boo if that’s the case I’ve done couple shit with lots of folks that dont mean they gettin in my pants..WOW. I said he’s my friend and that’s it….he didnt spend the night or anything like that…WOW. Talking about I’m trying to feel comfortable enough to be this way with you but you’re not concerned about how things look…I’m like why should I be concerned with how things look to you, you’re not my man.

I told him I was tired of chasing this long list of crap he wants or thinks he needs me to do in order to be with him…I am not superwoman. On top of that he keeps saying its so easy for someone to take you away from me…I’m thinkin maybe cause you aint doing your job or making me feel secure which is why I continue to date other folks. What’s the point in dating someone if they dont ever see it moving forward..I dont see the point, I’m not in high school anymore…

he makes my head hurt lol

TMI

I usually do these on Tuesday but hey what the heck..I do em when I want so here goes:

1. What do find is the most exciting part of a new sexual encounter? Hmm ok so I had an answer all typed out then I deleted it cause I actually read the question a second time, a new sexual encounter not just an encounter….hmm I would have to say anticiapting what that person will do to me and if it’s going to be better than anyone has done before..so that’s it the anticipation.

2. Do you have “a most exciting part of a sexual encounter” with a usual partner? Yep, I love his kisses cause he knows how I like em and he does them just right.

3. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you just met? I dont know you fool so I aint tellin you my business

4. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you work with? If they need to know as in something from home can spill in to work i’m pretty open and honest but if not then boo you dont need to know..great

5. How open and honest are you about your life with a casual acquaintance who lives in your neighborhood (or the parent a your child’s friend or…)? Casual friend once again I dont know you that well….you dont need to know everything about me…..thanks

Bonus (as in optional): Define a “normal” as in “normal relationship” or “normal sex life”. These days anything can be defined as normal depending on who you talk to….normal to me is whatever I want it to be lol

1. What is your favorite charity? Do you you give your time or just money to that charity? March of Dimes, I give my time and money every year.

2. Describe your bed. What side do you sleep on? It’s a full I’m actually working on getting a queen. If I’m alone I sleep near the door which is I guess the left side if I’m standing in front of the bed, if I’m not alone I sleep on the right near the wall unless I’ve falled asleep before I realize what side I’m sleeping on

3. How important is a partners kissing ability? VERY…everyone that has read my blog before knows I can’t stand baby lips LOL I will cut a playa from the team because of this

4. Have you ever “taken advantage” of a person under the influence of alcohol? Have you ever been “taken advantage” of while under the influence of alcohol? No never taken advantage of lol technically that’s defined as rape..thanks and no one has taken advantage of me…

5. Ever tried to replay the famous scene from From Here to Eternity? How was it? Ummm no I actually dont know what that is guess I need to educate myself

Bonus (as in optional): What kind of birth control do you use? the pill and occassionally baby sitting my nephews..however sometimes this makes me want kids lol

Today…

I realized that I need to change some things in my life….ASAP

I realized that each morning I look in the morning and am unhappy that its not because of someone else its because of me

I realized that I sooo need to go back to church

I realized that my life is slowing moving out of control and the fact that I know I need to change and I dont is SERIOUSLY a problem

I keep thinking that if I leave it alone everything will change in time but sometimes you have to give it a push

I keep thinking that just because you love someone they will change…yea right and that just aint for that special someone lol that’s anyone

I can’t live life for someone or around someone…Honey is the only one getting nothing out of the deal and that has to stop

I am so thankful for friends who tell me the truth..even if I dont wanna hear it

I am thankful for waking up this morning and realizing that I need to do better

I am thankful that I am owning up to making this change

I am so thankful that my parents pray for my growth (spiritually and physical)

I am so thankful that God doesn’t give up on me even when I’ve forgotten about him

I embrace the fact that this change wont be easy, but I’d rather change than wallow in self destruction

I’d rather change than complain

I need to make things happen..for me not for anyone else

I realize that I might loose some folks along the way and that’s ok…their time in my life has come to an end.

So today is a new day…maybe not for anyone else but def for Honey

Take it easy

Vulnerable

Very rarely so I lay my heart felt feelings out on the line unles syou know me….I dont cry too often and if I do it has to be something so gut wrenching or I have to have bottled some stuff up inside and then it comes spilling out.

I really dont know where to gro from here….Im’ confused

Just when I thought I was ok….I’m starting to think that I’m not

Its funny how life throws things in your way which make you question everything that has occurred before then

Is now a good time, has everything been leading up to this….

I honestly dont know what to say……honestly I’m rather in a state of shock.

Pardon my randomness I’m not ready to really talk about it all…but you know I will when I’m ready

Insane Randomness

Once again I want to write something with some sense but I dont feel like it so here we go with some randomness

Why do you have flipflops on boo it’s still February…which means winter in laymens terms

I so wanna go home this weekend especially since I have Monday off but I’ll wait

I might go get my nephew next weekend, I haven’t seen him since thanksgiving and I need to hear him tell me he loves me lol

All my babies are getting soo big I cant believe that my fat fat will be 2, toot will be 5 and bearbear will be 1 this year…on top of that my livy (goddaughter) will be 4…she’s such a lil lady

WOW that reminds me that I need to call her mom to see what she’s planning for her bday this year

I found out that my younger sis is a straight hustler she got kicked out of her welfare housing cause she was renting rooms to folks..WOW home girl be actin like she aint go no sense but she knows how to make that money

G and I are progressing nicely….he’s my date for Valentines Day…which by the way should be rather nice….the girls and I along with some extra folks are doing dinner at Sakuras in Tysons.

I’ve never been to a Japanese steakhouse hopefully the food is good or I will be heated being all dressed nice at Applebees lol but at least I know I can stand the food there

I’ve contemplated over and over what I’m going to wear and decided on this
http://www.ashleystewart.com/ashleystewart/browse/productDetail.jsp?icProduct=221W&icSort=%2Bordinal

Haven’t decided if I’m gonna do red pumps or not but def red accessories.

Getting the hair done tomorrow after work but I just saw on youtube how I can create some pretty cute curls without rollers so I’ve been tossing some styles around in my head..we’ll see

Prob get G a card and a picture frame for a pic that we took together when he was home last weekend….BTW we went to a gogo and I was like wow lol ummmm WOW hahaha

I heart Facebook

I want to wear sandals NOW…like right now but the other side of me is like you might look a lil light but you know what season it is…wait lol

Why can’t some folks get the hint that I dont wanna chill…I mean dang you keep asking me what I’m doing every evening and it doesn’t involve you so that should show ya something…I really dont wanna come out and say I just dont wanna hang…but I just might

I need to get my car washed and get an emissions test….but I have till the end of the month…so I’ll wait LOL

I wanna go on vacation NOW…..G will be in TX in march for some training so I might go visit him…he’ll be out there a month I might be able to squeeze a weekend visit in

I am sooo looking forward to monday….the day off and lunch lined up with some girls and dinner lined up with some sorors emmmm good eating LOL

Is it time to go home yet

ERRRRR