I miss you…

I mean really dude.  Now that ish has gone south with ms. lady cause I can’t call her a girl she’s def a woman whose older than me you wanna call me and tell me how now you realize i’m the love of your life, how now you understand where i was coming from.

6 months ago i would have been like really and my heart would have done a dance but now almost a year later after our demise i’m thinking really…are you F’ing kidding me.  I wanna jump thru the phone, slap you senseless and then hit you in the head with the reciever.  I mean you put me thru HELL.  I am a GOOD woman. Went to family functions when you werent even around, hung out with your lil brothers at their events.  Your mom would call me FIRST if she needed us to bring anything to sunday dinner and you let that go for some older woman who prob thought you were the best thing since peanut butter. Only to find out that having a tender roni aint all its cracked up to be.

I wish you could see what goes on in my head when you talk.  The old me is still there.  I can’t lie, she misses you.  Misses our summer outings and family functions.  But she takes up about 10% of my brain now which means New Dani can shut her up sometimes.  Make her remember the crying, the wondering of why you not answering your phone, the lets drive down there and surprise his ass voice, no i’m too good for that voice..all that bullish

AND NOW…you had an epiphany.  REALLY SON…no REALLY! Get outta town…no really.  I mean you’re cute and all but i’ve always prided myself in never ever letting ding dong make me loose my mind LOL..i mean i can forget sometimes but once im brought back its a wrap!

I’m def not gonna sit here and lie and say i haven’t thought to give him another chance.  But if I’m gonna even GLANCE and I just mean GLANCE your way you gonna have to step your game up boo.  You created this monster and if you wanna deal with her you are gonna have to be a totally different person.

(Drops mic, kicks door down..exits stage right)

Thankful Thursday!

Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go. ” ― Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle

You ever go thru a breakup and wonder man will I ever be able to say I’m done.  Will I ever be able to stop seeing him or her.  Will it ever get any easier.  Well yesterday I said for the first time and believed myself LOL I’m finally comfortable with letting him go.  Never thought I would say that, never thought I would feel ok enough to say that and then a week later bust out crying cause I missed him.  But yep I’m ok now, it took a year or so but I’m ok.  Life has moved on, dating bites but such if life LOL

I’m thankful that I know that there is more, some folks dont.  They go thru a bad breakup and they fall into a deep depression and dont come back from it.  I’m thankful that I know God has something better.  I’m thankful that he has allowed me to be happy with who I am as a person and realize that yea I’m not perfect but I’m pretty darn awesome as well.

It feels good to let go…and let God 🙂  Just in time for Spring too LOL