Flirty 30!!

So this past Saturday I turned 30! I was scared at first because I mean 30….its like a middle of the road. My LS couldn’t have put it a great way when she said its like you can no longer be foolish or accept foolishness you’re too old for that now….and I def believe that

The ex text me…i said thank you….left it at that…I don’t need drama…I think turning 30 and spending it with those who love me def broke a levy so to speak…

Friday I was off so I took the time to run some errands and hang out with Spidey who is hilarious and I have loads of fun with him but I can’t see a future with him…he still has a lot of growing up to do. We went out that night with one of my girls and my bday was brought in cutting a rug.

Saturday my LS and I went out to lunch at a breakfast brunchery in Annapolis and then hit the mall. I truly love spending time with her and the fact that I can talk to her about anything is an added plus. That night I once again cut up in the city after partying for a few hours I went to Fuegos. If you know the song bands will make her dance then yea you know what I’m referring to LOL. I had a BLAST…I’m def not a prude when it comes to that and I don’t go to often so getting in at 7am def won’t happen again for a long long time LOL

So all in all the bday weekend was def one for the books

I’m def stepping back to evaluate people and things in my life….because if they caused me grief in my 20s they def don’t need to be around in my 30s and I’m ok with that. Whatever God has for me is for me, and when I’m ready to accept what he has he will give it to me 🙂 I feel really at peace for some odd reason but I’m thankful 🙂

I’m ready for whatever 30 brings!! It can only get better from here

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Why does it hurt so bad….

Whitney Houston has been in my head all day long. Thought I was over you but I keep crying when I dont love you….

IA came to visit…he was a breath of fresh air, despite a mini sarcastic argument we had all was well and we had a blast!I cooked Friday night and we drank and talked which doesn’t happen to often when I go home cause he’s always working. Saturday I made breakfast and we went to the Smithsonian Natural History museum and had lunch in the city.  Came back and rested while he put music on his phone for the ride back and then proceeded to party the night away in the city.  I think I did my job cause he was passed out as soon as we got back in Sat/Sun morning and we slept off and on all day Sunday until the football games came on.

Then I was on the couch and he was in the room LOL…commerical breaks and half times are the only time i went in there cause man does he get excited during the games LOL but it was def nice to have him around while running thru my mind was the fact that the EX got married….mind you two days before the wedding he was asking me for one more for the road….yea uh huh.

I feel some type of way about it, to the point where I would blank out occassionally and IA would be like what’s wrong…I finally told him yesterday that the EX got married…dont know if he put two and two together but such is life.  I’ve deleted him from my phone, no point in calling or texting from my end or his.  I pray that he’s changed but that’s none of my concern now.

Just pray for peace and for God to allow me to get over my hurt before it damages my next blessing 🙂

The internet never forgets

Yes I’m getting over him…slowly but surely…in part thanks to my momma not raising no fool LOL in other parts cause I realized if he was doing this and still is doing this to her what would he be doing to me….would I really honestly want to marry someone like that

Why not wait for a person who is so in love and mushy with me as I am with him…God knows what I want and need and as much as I love LOVE…I’d rather wait for that..

But how dare you lie to me after I’ve already decided that we can be cordial and let you know that you dont have to lie to me…telling me oh i’m not getting married the wedding is off.  Pretty much bad mouthing her…and then post pics on FB talking about bachelor party…huh where they do that at.

I pray God has mercy on you…I pray that he works on you.  I pray that you eventually understand how serious marriage is and it should NOT be taken lightly.

I pray that a year from now I look back on how I feel and realize that  you were def a growing pain that I got over and am much more stronger for…

Be careful what you post…I might forget but the internet never does….

Good riddance

You’re not as hot as you think….

you ever have that one person who pops in and out of your life and when they do they always assume that you still checking for them….uh huh I know you do LOL…lets hope you aren’t that person.

D’s bday came and I sent him a text saying happy bday..nothing serious. I will admit and I would be lying if I didn’t admit it to myself (cause that’s the purpose of blogging..honesty) that I am TOTALLY over him…I’m about at the 30% mark.  I credit most of that to my friends who continually allow me to talk about my feelings for, about and regarding him as I get him out of my system. Sometimes you have to talk and talk about somethign until you beat it so much that you’re like ok…i can’t say anything else about it LOL…that’s how I tend to be when I’m trying to get over someone.  My friends understand that and never tell me to shut up…at least not to my face 🙂

I credit the other part to IA.  Right now we’re just gonna call him that…until he allows me to give him a nickname LOL he wont take chocolate drop LOL  I’ve known him for about 10 years maybe a little more..pretty much since sophmore/junior year of college I can’t remember. But we use to work together and kinda “dated”..I use that term loosely cause I was only home during the summer and some weekends so it wasn’t very serious. Anywho we did that…life happens…he dated, i dated he had a son…life comes back…he’s single..i wasn’t…but we were still friends…now we’re both single and we’ve decided we’re going to put more of an effort into getting to one another now. He’s been to visit once…he will be back in 11 days 🙂 can you sense my excitment..if you cant..imagine someone who can pretty much make you melt when they look at you…yea that’s how he does me.  All jokes aside I seriously thought this was going no where until I just noticed what a wonderful guy  he is.  He’s a hardworker, a wonderful dad, and he’s sarcastic just like me (which is weird cause i can always dish it out but can’t take it…and he says that LOL)

We’ve had a “family date”…took my nephews and his son to the movies and it was super cute to see him interact with his son 🙂  can’t wait until he brings his son to visit so we can go to the zoo and museums.  We’ve talked about how we feel about one another but have decided that we’re going to take it slow since this is long distance…and we’ve always done this song and dance but then we fall off.

We’ve also had the would you move here convo…which for some people doesn’t occur until you put a title on things, but we both agree that if this is going no where then we need to just get off the pot LOL and be friends instead of going back and forth.  Sooo in 11 days I will be harassing his personal space and in his words he’ll be letting me LOL

The funny thing is we haven’t gone past kissing…weird yes…comforting yes…do I want to change that…yes….am I….no…I kinda like this whole moving at the snails space mood we got going on.  Grant it when he holds my face, pulls me in for a kiss, and actually kisses me…I MELT…and when he pulls aways, looks in my eyes and kisses my forehead and goes back to what he was doing…I wanna sock him in the knee cap but he’s wooing me and I kinda like that 🙂 

Flash Flood

 

It’s MONDAY!! I know the day is passing super slow for me.  I say this as I look at the clock and realize that it’s almost 3pm.  Which means two more hours before I reunite with my long lost friend..PLANET FITNESS.  Am I looking forward to it….NO.  But it must be done so such is life.  Can’t say that I enjoy sweating on a machine but hey it has its advantages LOL

Over the weekend I got sick.  So today I’m hacking and sneezing like someone sniffing pepper.  Saturday morning I was super excited about going to my first chapter meeting of the sorority year.  I’ve been inactive for a year and I’m super excited about being involved in Zeta again and being on a committe of some sort.  After that chapter meeting we generally all go out to lunch.  I love that time with them, talking laughing, joking and eating.  So anyway I go to the chapter meeting, we go to eat lunch and I head home.  While heading home I notice the sky getting dark…i mean rain on yo head kinda dark. So I’m like let me go to the store and get some ice cream (yea’s that’s a storm staple dont judge me lol) I go in grab ice cream and salad (for lunch during the week) come outside and think yes it hasn’t rained yet…..

MANNN as soon as I got in the car the sky literally opened up and the wind starting blowing…i’m trying to get out the parking lot and my car is hit by a run away shopping car i’m like oh lord please get me home safe….i get home…sit in the car for about 5 min thinking i’ll wait till it breaks just a little…well i was impatient and needed to get my ice cream in the house and sit in front of tube (mind you i also needed my afternoon nap after eating lol) so I grab the umbrella..try to time me opening the car door at the same time i release the umbrella thinking that’s gonna save me…LIES yet again…I run to the apt…feet wet…finally get inside and think yes im ok.  2 hours later im hacking and coughing with a sore throat…i mean what the what….how could this be only my feet got wet?!

So I spend all of Sunday in the bed in the same spot (other than washing my hiney lol) with a random runny nose.  I mean like seriously id be watching tv and feel something wet on my face uck..TMI but hey that’s life LOL

A couple of times I almost pulled my nose ring out from blowing my nose and the thing still feels weird when I do that so I cringed everytime it occurred.  Hopefully it goes away soon…we shall see

How was your weekend?

Cat Lady

As I approch the BIG 30…I look back and think where in DE HELL did time go.  I mean no really it seemed like just yesterday my mom was dropping me off to begin my freshmen year of college and now I look around and all the “little” kids in my life are working full time jobs and popping out babies LOL My very own nephews have started school and my niecy pooh who is 7 months is already cutting teeth and trying to crawl

Recently a gf of mine moved back to the area and we decided that every wednesday would be our catch up session over a nice dinner.  She broke up with her ex around the same time D and I broke up so I know exactly how she feels.  Even though the situation was different (I know how and why mine ended) she on the other hand was blindsided and still doesn’t know what went on. This week was dinner number two and we found ourselves once again saying “this cant be life” LOL  Dating has done a 160 (that’s the right term right cause a 180 means a complete turn around..whatever) I mean guys use to want to date as much as you did now they just wanna disguise coming to your house or you coming to theirs as a date.  I mean if we been kicking it for a while then maybe I will consider that a date esp if it has food and games or a movie involved but I mean just a random watching tv moment..NO BOO BOO that aint no date

I remember thinking when I was younger that I would be married with one kid by the time I was 30…and I am not.  Am I ok with that..sometimes I am..sometimes I’m not.  But I do know that God has a reason and a season for everything.  I constantly remind myself that marriage is work and somewhere deep down I’m not ready for that right now and when I am…God will show me and allow someone to enter to my life who is perfect just for me…cause I can be a handful LOL

I figure I can spoil all the host of kids around me cause once I get my own I will no longer have ME TIME.  I love sleeping in on weekends.  I love being able to go out of town and party out on the town when I want to and stay out as long as I want to.  I love my nieces and nephews (honorary ones included) but having to find a sitter just to go play paintball is probably not fun.  I mean yes being a parent is awesome (i can assume cause being an auntie is def awesome) but umm a shorty likes to do what she wants right now with no one to answer to.

And why in the samnation when I have dreams about being alone am I surrounded by cats…I mean like lots of them.  Maybe cause they require no real work. Them jokas scare me in real life though. Sneaking up on you jumping on counters…why lonely people gotta have cats why cant’ they just have lots of fish…if I do end up not married at 50 i’m just gonna be like that lady that lives in the shoe with all them kids LOL..im gonna make it happen one way or another LOL

Crash & Burn

We can be tired, weary and emotionally distraught, but after spending time alone with God, we find that He injects into our bodies energy, power and strength.
Charles Stanley

I am soooo tired.  At work about to go home and pack for my weekend at the folks house.  My babies start school on Tuesday and it wouldn’t be right if I wasn’t there.  Well to me anyway LOL.  Kindergarten and Pre-K here we come.  I’ve been coming in early and going home a lil later than normal to get some things finished for my boss and it just hit me that I’m TIRED.  I mean like TIRED. I havent’ had a life really for the last few weeks other than work and its starting to catch up with me.

 
Last night I went out to dinner with a friend of mine from college who recently moved back to the area and it was soo good to see her and laugh and know that yes we’ve grown and matured but she hasn’t changed in the areas that matter 🙂
 
I’m getting back into the gym next week…yea yea I know I should go tonight after I get off but I dont want to simple as that LOL  However, my trip to Jamaica will be quickly approaching and I can’t be looking like somebody preg momma like I did in DR last year (and yes I’m my own worse enemy but so what)
 
So hopefully this weekend I will get to sleep, do some laundry and love up on my babies.  I miss them so much when I leave its always a big scene cause I want to cry but I mean its not really all that bad LOL..i think im just emotional when it comes to them.  I’ve seen each of them (except the oldest) come into the world (its like they waited for me to get there lol) so i spoil them and hold them as much as I can..even though my parents tell me I overdo it sometimes…hey that’s what aunties are for 🙂
 
In other news..men are bananas lol well their brains anyway..well some of them…the ex calls me last night…late…my first thought it something done happened to Nana…i love that lady.  No matter what he and I went thru his family will always hold a special place in my heart….so i’m like hello whats wrong is everything ok..yea..do you have company…um no why…i wanted to talk to you..ok whats up…why you ignoring me lately…playing me to the side…UMMMMM BOOO WTF?!!!!?!?!?!?
 
I busted out laughing and was like you have got to be kidding me.  He was like its over between me and her..I miss you..i said boo you only miss me cause I dont miss you and dont care about you anymore…i mean i care about your wellbeing but i aint calling and now you wanna know why….you were ENGAGED….crickets…yea that’s what I thought
 
I tell ya…folks be thinking the grass is greener on the other side..truth is its just plastic